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Joke of the Day

"A Jehovah's witness knocks on a Mexican's door. The Jehovah's Witness asks, would you like to know Jesus? The Mexican said, I already do. He's next door."

"What's the proper salutation to use when writing a resignation letter to your children?"

"People keep telling me that I have no idea what it's like to have no roof above my head I don't think so, I really like the new Porsche convertible."

"What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory? You can hear a cough drop."

"pizza pizza pizza eatya eatya eatya"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just look for the fresh prints."

"How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu? One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment"

"My friend recently told me he was allergic to blood... I told him he was full of it."

"[movie night] Her: Can I pick tonight? Me: You picked last time and it was horrible Her: WE WATCHED OUR WEDDING VIDEO"

"it's impossible to own two weiner dogs because that's a paradachshund"