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Joke of the Day

"You ever bark back at your dog and then wonder what you just said?"

"[NSFW] Yesterday I gave a surprise bukkake party to my roommate... ...everyone came. You should have seen her face."

"What did one doughnut say to the other... ...you look a little glazed"

"Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield? Because the stalks are all ears."

"*buys shed at B&Q* B&Q: Are you putting this up yourself? Me: No, it's going in the garden. B&Q: Me: B&Q: I can't help you anymore."

"""2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let's fornicate!!!"" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics."

"A vagina is like the weather. Once it's wet, it's time to head in That's all folks."

"Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL. But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver."

"A lot of people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... Stephen Hawking disagrees."

"A nurse reaches into her pocket and finds a rectal thermometer... ""Ugh, some asshole has my pen"", she thought."