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Joke of the Day

"I tore the elbow of my shirt last week, but I was able to stitch it back together. On the hole, it's held up surprisingly well."

"I've been fired for a childish behaviour Apparently, sucking tits of my female coworkers wasn't such a good idea."

"Batman opened a restaurant... But he's serving just desserts."

"Name your kid Basil and see what happens. BEST case scenario he spends hours a day updating Wikipedia."

"How does Sean Connery shave? CTRL + S"

"The inventor of the Frisbee died yesterday. Per his final wishes, he'll be thrown onto the roof and forgotten about until next summer."

"I don't mind the NSA reading my Word documents. It means that at least someone will read the first draft of my novel."

"Every year I got an accident by passing the road on 1st April Cause, I thought that Traffic signal try to make me April fool."

"My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos. Mine broke down three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way. I won."

"Zombies are a fun reminder that the first thing people want to do when they're dead and beyond the law is murder everyone in sight."