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Joke of the Day

"Every year I got an accident by passing the road on 1st April Cause, I thought that Traffic signal try to make me April fool."

"*calls into work* ""yo boss i'm real sick"" ""you don't sound sick..."" ""ya, just got a new tribal tat & heelys"" ""wow u do sound hella sick"""

"How do you spot the violent kids at the circus? They go straight for the juggler."

"Apple is developing an iPhone that pregnant women can swallow so fetuses can go online since they have nothing else to do in there."

"Michael Phelps & I have a combined 19 gold medals & 4 DUI's."

"Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now."

"Q.How is a heart like a musician? A.They both have a beat :)"

"How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb? Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of."

"I'm 0 for 3 in getting people to try a spoonful of my homemade peach jam on the subway platform this morning. Some days are challenging!"

"The main thing I want this holiday season is for someone to wake me when it's over."