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Joke of the Day

"My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos. Mine broke down three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way. I won."

"Wayne Gretzy at a party... Gets folks to drink by yelling, ""You miss 100% of the shots you never take!!!!"""

"A list of compelling arguments regarding the existence of God."

"Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform."

"I used to have an invisible pencil I really didn't see the point of it."

"Nothing says "" My divorce didn't go as planned "" quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars"

"What is soft and fuzzy, and lives in a hole? My belly button lint."

"What's 9 + 10? Dix Neuf"

"Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks? A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!"

"Whats a rednecks favorite thing to do on Halloween? Pump Kin"