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Joke of the Day

"During a job interview yestarday I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly ""Nervous?"" asked the interviewer, I simply replied ""No I always give 110%"""

"ME: someone stole my credit card number BANK: why would they spend $187 at a hot dog stand? ME: [hangs head in shame] that wasn't them"

"Some days, my only goal that seems attainable is dying in a way so spectacular they name a new piece of protective legislation after me."

"Where you do see yourself in five years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"

"Do they have any car wash in Albania? Yes. They call it ""rain"""

"Twitter: ""Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican"""

"Why did the lawyer go to the tailor? He wanted a law-suit"

"What is a Japanese girl's favourite dessert Senpai"

"[Request] Jokes about the Eurozone crisis, Greek debt etc Anyone got any good ones?"

"My boss just informed me that a birthday is not a legitimate excuse to start drinking at 8am."