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Joke of the Day

"ME: someone stole my credit card number BANK: why would they spend $187 at a hot dog stand? ME: [hangs head in shame] that wasn't them"

"If you got a butcher who is 6'2, what does he weigh? Meat."

"What do a thong and Donald Trump's toupee have in common? They both barely cover an asshole."

"almost called my teacher ""mom,"" but I caught myself after ""mo"" and added an ""n."" I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year."

"When you really think about it... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape."

"I went to my 35th high school reunion and realized that ""the one that got away"" turned into a ""dodged a bullet."""

"What do you say when German secret police is bugging you? geSTAHPo!"

"Photons don't have mass. Does that mean that the light of God doesn't go to church?"

"What does a vulture bring with him on the airplane? His carrion bag."

"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."