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Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of my Community Theatre group when the female director asked to see me limp. How was I to know she was talking about walking?"

"GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent"

"Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing? They have the gift of tongues..."

"How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know probably more than eight, my basement is still dark."

"Do you remember when your grandma was younger? Neither does she."

"You hear about the new cemetery? People are dying to get in there..."

"What do you call someone who barely graduated from med school? Doctor."

"A jogger just yelled at me for accidentally blowing pot smoke in his face. So I yelled at him for making me feel fat."

"2 cars had a head-on collision in Mexico today.. 34 people died."

"If a fish died in the ocean... ...does it become a marine corpse?"