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Joke of the Day

"A jogger just yelled at me for accidentally blowing pot smoke in his face. So I yelled at him for making me feel fat."

"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."

"Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10."

"An Irish wake Partying is such sweet sorrow."

"When Big Johnny tried to fly without an ID... ...the TSA diagnosed him with an enlarged prostate."

"(Quick one-liner joke:) Why are pretty women like pianos? Because when they're not upright, they're grand!"

"I like my women like I like my X-Wing pilots... ""Almost there."""

"Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty."

"What do two Wrights make? A plane"

"What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop? A joggernaut."