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Joke of the Day

"""Are you listening to understand or to be right?"" ~ sometimes pretending to listen results in unexpected mutiple choice questions"

"I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI... You might say we have a connection."

"Allstate just sent me a safe driver bonus check for 73 cents so I guess good things do happen to good people."

"Lets give each other cute nicknames like, 'Plaintiff' and 'Defendant'"

"Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got alzheimers."

"When a woman puts on a low cut shirt, she's basically saying she wants to win all arguments for the day."

"I've been driving for 20 years And I still haven't seen any fast children at play"

"What borders stupidity? Canada and Mexico."

"Why did the fishermen buy a new pole? Just for the halibut."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass..."