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Joke of the Day

"Lets give each other cute nicknames like, 'Plaintiff' and 'Defendant'"

"I don't always kill spiders, sometimes I stare at them a short while to see if we can reach an understanding"

"What's the most sensitive part of your body while masturbating Your ears."

"John Cena has a tough life man His girlfriend just texted him. The message says: > When can I see you?"

"I tried to watch the paralympic games.. I couldn't though because the channel was disabled"

"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."

"This is how you do an April Fools joke ... [deleted]"

"What's the difference between England and a teabag? The teabag stays in the cup longer."

"Holy shit. Just realized that my last girlfriend was born the same year I got my first credit card. And I'm not even hot like Larry King."

"BLIND DINOSAUR Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us."