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Joke of the Day

"I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me Will you be putting it up yourself?' I told him, No, you sicko, it's going in the living room!'"

"What do you get when you mix Hitler with a dolphin? Adolfphin"

"Here's to the stork that brings good babies... ""Here's to the stork that brings good babies, the crow that brings bad babies, and the swallow that brings no babies at all!"""

"Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy? Because Opey never delivered."

"What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus? Jesus doesn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over *his* body."

"An Indian man died after hearing the price of pulses. The Doctor wrote ""high pulse rate"" as the cause of death."

"What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ? A dingo-ling !"

"A year after marriage, wife complains to husband that he promised he would love her the same even after marriage... Husband says ""yeah, but I wasn't expecting to get married to you!"""

"Funny pick up line Are you from Japan? Because I want to get in Japanese!"

"I really only know one thing about Ebola. For some reason, it makes you really wanna go to the airport."