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Joke of the Day

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons."

"CIA finally succeeded in killing Fidel Castro Using the innovative 'Old age' technique"

"Did you hear about that actress that stabbed herself? Reese something? No it was with her knife"

"My daughter's been seeing someone called Jim. Only for an hour each time, always in sports gear and often sweaty afterwards. I don't approve"

"What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding? Nothing, he already said it twice."

"Say no to drugs. Say yes to the dress. Say anything to John Cusack. Say you say me to Lionel Richie. Say say say to Paul McCartney."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the kid? Hey, wanna buy some candy?"

"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender."

"""I'd like one personal pizza please"" Pizza: Your life's a mess. You should lose 10 pounds. Call your mother. ""Whoa maybe not that personal"""

"Knuckle Tats (I) (H)(A)(V)(E) (W)(A)(Y) (T)(O)(O) (M)(A)(N)(Y) (F)(I)(N)(G)(E)(R)(S)"