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Joke of the Day

"Made a folder for my Japanese phone apps... I call them Japps."

"With my wife it was sex, sex, sex... Yes, three times in 35 years"

"Hot Air Balloons are like Marijuana... The more you blaze it, the higher you become."

"Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally."

"i've decided to start a new healthier lifestyle. I'm adding cranberry juice to my morning Vodka."

"What Do You Call A 7 Second Minecraft Video? VINECRAFT DO IT FOR THE MINE XD"

"ME: i'm having a lovely time tonight my date: why do u keep yelling ""ME"" before every sentence"

"I tried explaining to my girlfriend what the effects of network packet loss were. I couldn't get the message across."

"To all the philosophy majors out there... Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?"

"I went to a sea-themed disco the other day.. I pulled a muscle."