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Joke of the Day
"With my wife it was sex, sex, sex... Yes, three times in 35 years"
Next Joke
"Wait, is Obama our second black President or our first black President again?"
"I like my puns like I like my sausages... the wurst ones are the best."
"Did you hear about the guy who escaped from a lunatic asylum, raped a bunch of old women in a laundrette then ran away? The newspaper headlines the next day read: #**NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**#"
"TIL The deadliest Medieval warrior was a Scottish tailor. ....He kilt thousands of people."
"LPT: If a sexy hot girl adds you on Facebook... REJECT HIM!!!"
"I'm getting a prescription for medical fellatio."
"[COPS] *into radio* We've got a drunk man in the park who thinks he's a lion tamer. ""SIR! PUT THE WHIP DOWN & STEP AWAY FROM THE CAROUSEL!"""
"Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache... suddenly she's not your friend anymore?"
"A miser writes his will and names himself as the heir. This is actually one of the oldest known jokes. http://mentalfloss.com/article/57470/11-jokes-worlds-oldest-jokebook"