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Joke of the Day

"Can I ask you a question without you getting mad? -People who are about to piss you off"

"I'm an oceanographer working at the Mariana trench. I love my job but its starting to effect my sex life. I'm under a lot of pressure at work."

"How come blind people never tell bad jokes? Because they can't ""see themselves out"" :D ..I'll.. I'll see myself out."

"Did Donald Trump make the right choice when picking his running mate? It de-Pence on who you ask."

"I went to the barbers today. My wife sent me a text that said we had a pipe leaking. I told the barber we're going to have to cut this short. I walked out with a buzz cut."

"What does ADA stand for? Dyslexic Association of America"

"The annual Procrastination meeting Has been postponed..."

"Hey, do you guys remember Sex Ed from High School? He's in jail now."

"furniture disease i just got home from the doctor's and i have really bad news. turns out i have the furniture disease. its where your chest hangs down past your drawers"

"Kylo Ren: *high pitched voice* I love you Kylo Ren. You're the best dark Jedi ever General Hux: *walks in* Stop playing with Vader's helmet"