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Joke of the Day
"Nintendo should come out with a sequel to X and Y... It'll be called ""The Extra Chromosome"""
Next Joke
"HER: I love sweater weather ME: *holding up an umbrella to protect us from falling sweaters* It's that time of year again already?!"
"Here's a promise - if a scuba shop is within sprinting distance of the ocean and they let me try stuff on I'm not paying for a damn thing."
"Hey dad, the hospital called, patients are trying to rest, could you please turn down your television."
"[family feud] Steve Harvey: Top 5 answers on the board, name a place you would plant evidence... Me: *buzzes first* EVIDENCE GARDEN"
"What is a similarity between a Rubik's cube and a dick? The longer you play with it, the harder it gets."
"After a concert Bono started clapping and then said ""Every time I clap, a child dies in Africa"" . . . Someone from the audience chimed ""Stop fucking clapping then"""
"What do Australians and wetting yourself in the basement have in common? They're both incontinence down under."
"SURGEON: hold on, i just need to YouTube this part of the procedure PHONE: *unskippable ad plays* NURSE: he's dyin SURGEON: ah crap, hold on"
"I voted for Giant Meteor for 2016 Guess I'll just hope for another."