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Joke of the Day
"I voted for Giant Meteor for 2016 Guess I'll just hope for another."
Next Joke
"[puts cone of shame on dog] ME: (to dog) sory buddy DOG: (to all other dogs in neighborhod) BOW DOWN TO LORD FLOFFYTON HEARER OF ALL BARKS"
"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through one of his skits without laughing"
"Olympic wrestling is the only time there is a ""Clean and Jerk""... in every other case, it's the other way round."
"I won my first cage fight last night... Fucking Parrot didn't know what hit it."
"I once bought a llama to surprise my girlfriend... ""A llama?"" ""No, surprise her."""
"Knock KNOCK Who's there? Orange Orange who? ORANGE YOU HAPPY I DIDN'T SAY ORANGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v v TLDR I'm dead on the inside"
"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? You break his spine. (no hate Intended It's just funny)"
"""Dad, can I go to the renaissance festival?"" ME: No, you're still grounded ""No fair!"" ME: Yes, that's what I said"
"Writing about 2 dinosaurs who hate crime. They make motorcycles & badges from the meteorite that killed their dino buds. Called TriceraCOPS!"