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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar... He said ""ouch."""

"I wonder if people with speech impediments get receding hair lips as they get older?"

"So I heard Donald Trump is running for president again. You guys know that if he wins, we'll all be f****d, right? That's right. Fired. ;)"

"""Like, 2?"" - someone in a decision-making position when asked how many outlets a hotel room should have"

"We white people don't shoot eachother I'm the streets like you blacks.... We do it in the schools because we have class! I'm sorry!!"

"Send a text to your SO exactly this in commas ""You effect me"" (read comments after you have done so 1st) SO: Don't you mean ""affect?"" You: Yeah i forgot the A-Hole. Sincerely, JM"

"I shaved my sack last week... Now I have poke' balls."

"My office got a shredder, so now I have to buy a turtle costume to fight it on Monday. Work is hard."

"Shout-out to people just out of earshot."

"Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and scream."