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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and scream."

"An ex girlfriend is like a box of chocolates... ...they'll both kill your dog"

"What do you call it when two female spies fall in love? Lesbianage"

"I Am Not A Lawyer I ANAL."

"Unfortunately Miley Cyrus broke up with her boyfriend It didn't twerk out"

"What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge."

"*I* actually went through with a threesome. There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

"My name is Steven But the bank calls me Owen. Owen Lotts."

"My neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the crazy naked lady and I'm the only one not invited. Weird."

"I was walking past a store with one of my lazy friends There was a sign in the window that said ""No Help Wanted"" I told him he should apply"