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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I finally decided to try out role-play in the bedroom. I dressed up like Luke Skywalker And she pretended to be a dead fish."

Next Joke
 
"Why would Donald Trump make a great addition to The Walking Dead? All he wants to do is build a wall."
"My work has this cute thing they do where if you're really good at your job, they get you to do everyone elses too."
"Facebook: ""Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!"" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]"
"Leave it to the military to take a fun activity like a clusterfuck and put a negative spin on it."
"A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party... He was in the Menorah Tee."
"I didn't think my golf joke was that good, but everyone kept assuring me it was subpar."
"I really need to go on the show Survivor. Not for the money or the fame. It's just the only way I'm ever gonna effectively lose weight."
"How come if you eat two cookies you gain 3 lbs. Then when you take a major dump, you don't lose anything?"
"No, I am not insulting you. I am just describing you."