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Joke of the Day

"My dad always told me... Always B sharp and B natural, but never B flat. Safe to say, I'm a terrible musician. Thanks a lot, dad."

"It's quite ironic. Whitney used to do commercials for Pepsi, then spend all the money she made on Coke."

"b b q why is it that latinos don't bar b que? the rice and beans keep falling thru the grill"

"Me: Now what's the rule, son? 11yo: *sighs* If his first album came out after 2000, I can't call him a rapper. Me: You're learning..."

"Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark."

"Yo momma so fat... She's a Reddit admin!"

"Moist people aren't offended by the occasional typo."

"I was recently at an antiques store. I picked up a lamp and a genie popped out. He said ""I will grant you one wish, you can either have a long memory or a long penis"" I forget my response."

"My Dad just told me I looked like Jesus. I think he has a God complex."

"I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, ""You can't be serious."" I said, ""I know."""