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Joke of the Day

"What does an onii-chan drive? A Niisan. *cue rimshot*"

"You shouldn't personify inanimate objects. They hate it when you do that."

"What is a test tube baby's biggest fear? Dingos with straws....!! "

"I saw two lesbians kissing in the park. ""There's a time and a place for that,"" I told my wife. She said, ""Yeah..."" I said, ""It's 9pm and my house."""

"I used to cry when my dad chopped onions. Onions was a good dog, I miss him."

"My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement. She wants a huge wedding with 500 guests and a piano player... I want us to see other people."

"Why can't bikes stand up on their own? They are two tired."

"Jared Fogle ""the subway guy"" was upset to be sentenced to 15 and 1/2 years in Prison today... Funny because 15 1/2 years used to sound pretty good to him."

"What's a gay-bar pickup line? Can I push your stool in?"

"Who is the world's worst suicide hotline operator? Shia Lebouf."