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Joke of the Day

"Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich? Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!"

"How do you make a hippopotamus float? 2 hippos and a LOT of root beer."

"Why don't Chinese people roll 12lb balls down wooden lanes to knock over pins? Because to them it's boring."

"""Are you sure this lawyer is good?"" Yeah, why? ""He pronounced sue like sway"""

"My favourite Halloween joke: ""I was going to dress up as Jian Gomeshi but I figured that would be too creepy."""

"[NSFW] I've been 1 week in college and already had five times the sex I had in 3 years of highschool. 5x0=0"

"""Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!"" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no."

"Help! I've been robbed! They stole everything except my deodorant, shampoo and hand soap. Dirty bastards"

"My hamster died as he lived... in the microwave."

"I'm old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year."