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Joke of the Day

"Why don't vikings send e-mails? They prefer to use Norse code."

"Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly - autocorrect"

"I ordered the Club Salad for lunch.. I asked waitress ""What all comes in the club salad?"" She said ""Lettuce, turnip, the beat"""

"A blonde women just found out some frightening statistics... She was just informed that over 90% of car accidents happen within 10 miles of the persons house. So she moved."

"What dogs never get lost? Newfound-lands!"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Ye Old Lady. Ye Old Lady Who? Never knew you could yodle."

"Why did the scientist get punched in the restaurant? He ordered some NaCl."

"A cat falls in a pool, a rooster laughs. Moral of the story: A wet pussy makes a cock feel good."

"I raped myself today. It sucks being a schizophrenic hermaphrodite."

"I don't mind being back on my meds... I just think it's sad that at the same time all the dogs in the neighbourhood stopped talking to me."