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Joke of the Day

"I don't mind being back on my meds... I just think it's sad that at the same time all the dogs in the neighbourhood stopped talking to me."

"The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says ""eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."""

"Me: *does interpretative dance Translator: *does translation dance Chief: *does interpretative dance Translator: *does translation dance"

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's dead"

"After a long and tough discussion, my wife and I decided to go with adoption. Let the little shits be someone else's problem."

"Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful."

"Why does my computer say Hello? Because it's a Dell."

"What do hackers do when they go on vacation? They go phishing"

"TIP: Always carry a motorcycle helmet with u. Then u never have to do your hair & u can blame it on safety & the law & stuff. #lifehacks"

"Why did the bird go to the theater? She wanted to wait in the wings."