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Joke of the Day

"What dogs never get lost? Newfound-lands!"

"i take my gf on a balloon ride to propose. a field of wild flowers spells Women Are Crooks. ""oops sorry."" i apologize. ""that ones for my dad"

"What's an otakus favourite dessert? Senpie."

"Q: Why didn't Count Dracula get married? A: He wanted to remain a bat-chelor."

"I'm so out of it I just asked my dog to hand me something. To be fair, he gave me the same blank stare my kids would have."

"Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman"

"When Harry Potter ejaculates, it's HP sauce For those who don't know, [HP sauce](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HP_Sauce) is a brown sauce sold in the UK."

"What kind of coffee do terrorists hate? French press. (Too soon?)"

"The British are coming! Get ready! Oh wait they're coming by boat. We have like three months"

"I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!"