178549

Joke of the Day

"Did you know Hitler was blinded in WW1? That's when he became a not-see"

"I feel like I'm not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don't cut and dye my hair and change my identity."

"Where do footballers dance? At a football!"

"Q: What did one tomato say to the other? A: Catch up."

"Anyone know why jewish people like coupons and deals so much? They are just trying to avoid the whole cost. I feel terrible for making this up........ But ill get over it."

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"This summer I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say, 'Get a life' on them. Demetri Martin"

"I hate people with erectile dysfunction no hard feelings"

"Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?"

"Sometimes I think about how infinite the universe is... and realize that somewhere out there, there's a galaxy shaped like a dick."