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Joke of the Day

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"[college ad] High schoolers: You've sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?"

"I was asked to name my top 10 most favorite books. I don't have 10 so I just started naming insects."

"I thought of a great name for an abortion clinic... How about 'Birth Ctrl+Z' ?"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes? Pricks are on the outside of the porcupine."

"A wife went with her husband to his doctors appointment... Doctor: I'm gonna need a urine and stool sample. Wife (to husband): Just give him your underwear honey!!!"

"I should have made a website called www.reallydontfit.com and posted all the pics of fat chicks wearing skinny clothes this weekend. @MaleHonesty86"

"Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill."

"Everyone has a thigh gap... ...when they're doing the splits."

"I tried telling a pun to a group of kleptomaniacs.. ..but they kept taking things literally"