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Joke of the Day

"What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile? The spelling and pronunciation."

"Getting really fucking annoyed now! This is the 6th ATM I've been to, that's had ""insufficient funds""."

"Benjamin Button Started off dead Violets are blue Roses are red"

"Remember kids, you only burn in hell if you are religious."

"Are you today's date? Because you're only 1/10."

"If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god."

"I still have nightmares.... I still have nightmares about the time I gave my Eskimo friend a house warming gift..."

"Did you hear about the new drug that makes its users apathetic? It's called Crystal Meh"

"The Dark Knight Rises.....a porn title that requires no alterations."

"Attention fat vegans: Explain."