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Joke of the Day
"If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god."
Next Joke
"I tried to catch the fog earlier But I mist."
"If it weren't for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor."
"LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight. When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun"
"What are some great video game jokes?"
"What did the cheese go as for Halloween A muenster"
"What's the difference between the charismatics and the nacists? 45"
"I just got condoms installed on my floor today it protects the hardwood."
"18yo me (naive, unrefined): I just ate a block of cheese 42yo me (worldly, sophisticated): I just ate a wheel of cheese"
"Despite having no nominations this year, I'm certain that black folks will clean up at The Oscars."