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Joke of the Day

"new password. I was trying to come up with a new password for one of my sites, jokingly I typed in 'mypenis'. Message came back, 'sorry not long enough;"

"I don't know how Valve managed to do it, but... they even included the British Pound in their summer sale this year."

"Many racist Trump supporters were stung by Clinton's speech calling them a ""basket of deplorables."" The rest had to go look up ""deplorable."""

"*stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun* oh"

"Daddy is the government going to keep us safe from terrorists? No son, they're busy protecting us from drugs and home made clocks."

"If Trump and Hillary were both drowning in a lake... would you want regular or sweet potato fries with your burger?"

"Two spiders are at another spiders funeral. ""Peter was the most gentle spider I ever knew. He wouldn't hurt a fly."" ""Yeah, that's true. Do you know what he died from?"" ""Starvation."""

"I like Jews how I like my cookies. Cooked in an oven"

"why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis"

"What do you get when you cross a fish with no eyes? PETA"