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Joke of the Day

"Two spiders are at another spiders funeral. ""Peter was the most gentle spider I ever knew. He wouldn't hurt a fly."" ""Yeah, that's true. Do you know what he died from?"" ""Starvation."""

Next Joke
 
"Breaking news... The news truck has split in half, our traffic report website is down, and the studio seems to be having trouble with this sound system."
"Sometimes I miss my real friends and then I think, screw them, they don't even star my tweets."
"I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school."
"Why do they call me the fireman? Cause I turn on the hoes"
"What did the blind, one-legged retarded kid get for Christmas? cancer"
"Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter."
"I just lost my mood ring... I'm not sure what to feel about this."
"Rhinos are really just old, fat unicorns. Don't argue. U know i'm right."
"Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy."