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Joke of the Day

"I don't know how Valve managed to do it, but... they even included the British Pound in their summer sale this year."

"What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet..."

"what's that lassie? ""Bark"" Timmy's in a well? ""Bark"" and he's jerkin it? ""Bark"" he's looking at what?! ""Bark"" dude I've heard enough"

"Me: *enters exam room Doctor: Please take off your... M: *unbuttons pants D: ?? M: *pauses* D: GLASSES! D: I'M AN EYE DR DAMNIT!"

"Need help with kids I am at dinner for mothers day and striking out with the jokes. Reddit brothers and sisters I need your kid appropriate jokes. HELP!"

"british waiter: what topping would ye fancy on yer pizza? british guy: tea british waiter: jolly good choice [both laugh britishingly]"

"What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom? Don't worry baby, I'm sterile."

"Which Sri Lankan do Star Wars fans like? May Theforcebewithyou."

"You heard about the first woman to ever die of a marijuana overdose? She was giving Snoop Dogg a rim job and he farted."

"Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, I wonder how we're supposed to imitate them on the dance floor."