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Joke of the Day

"I have a joke thats more fucked up than it is funny. Why do guys slap girls butts? To make sure thier guts dont fall out. Sry"

"In honor of Nelson Mandela Day Someone opened up a tire shop down the road from where I live and named it after the late Nelson Mandela. They named it ""Mandela's Apartires R Us"""

"Words cannot describe your beauty... But numbers can. 4/10."

"Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow."

"Just realized my undies are on inside out .. Was gonna change them around . but I figured let the other side get sum action for a change ."

"MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone* JUDGE: he's got a point"

"Bruce Willis marks his height on his bedroom wall. He started doing it 2 years ago & it's just an increasingly thick line at the same height"

"I was in a masturbating competition... I came 1st twice!"

"[seaworld] ""Hey what happened to the new guy?"" -He tried to have sex with the dolphin in tank 6 ""But there's a shark in tan.."" -BINGO!"

"Life handed me lemonade, but I was too busy around the corner captivated by how fudge is made."