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Joke of the Day

"I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website. That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen."

"Ok gas pump, enough! Credit or debit? Zip code? Reward Card? Car Wash? Receipt? What octane? It takes less buttons to launch a nuke!"

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A CARROT"

"Baseball Joke What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third? Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!"

"When I see a homeless person, I usually don't give them money. I just go out and buy some drugs for them."

"I just got a job in a Reggae band. I've just got a job in a Reggae band, It's rather easy because I play the Triangle... All I do is stand at the back n ting."

"What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry."

"At first I wondered why the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me."

"*gets pulled over* Do you know how fast you were going? *pulls string* *inflates emergency mustache* Oh sorry officer. You're free to go."

"My girlfriend's vagina is like a Tesco shopping trolley It takes a pound in."