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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus."

"What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."

"Judging by this line at Costco it doesn't look like I'll ever see my family again. Sweet."

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun? A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times."

"I don't get computer-related jokes. ..not even a bit."

"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they always steal all of the green cards."

"What do fruit punch and a punch to the face have in common? Both can knock you out at a party."

"Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I'd look out the window for that."

"Overheard at work: ""that is music to my ears"". Where else would the music go smartypants?"

"When I make you breakfast in bed, the least you can say is thank you. I mean what's with all this ""how did you get in my house"" nonsense?"