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Joke of the Day

"When I refer to kids as ""Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan"" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children."

"These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did."

"Bill gates teaching a kindergarten class ""Let's count"" says Gates The children start counting as he told them to. 1,2,3.x,95,98,2000,ME,XP,7,8,8.1,9,10, 10 anniversary edition"

"[Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*"

"I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex He's a small arms dealer"

"This girl said ""she didn't know how I would take it..."" So I figured if anything I'd just give it back."

"""This is gonna be so awful, and everyone's least favorite, yet .0001 of the population will keep it in demand."" - Inventor of licorice"

"Did any of you hear about that pedo music teacher? The one who broke a G string while fingering A minor."

"I'm thinking about joining a sports team just so I can get my butt slapped."

"Whats the difference between being hungry and horny? Depends where you put the cucumber"