177713
Joke of the Day
"""Ways you would tell your mother you secretly have the hots for her."" -Family Freud"
Next Joke
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"I got Arnold Schwarzenegger into Baroque music... He'll be Bach."
"A man is taking a picture of a koala This has some really great koalaty"
"Child actors cry so realistically because their parents have given them a bottomless well of sadness to draw from. And... ACTION!"
"Charlie Brown decided to wear transparent pants one day... ...and when Lucy saw him she said ""I always thought you were a blockhead, Charlie Brown, but now I can plainly see your nuts."""
"smdh at dollhouses without stairs between the different floors. Hows that going to work, dumb-ass."
"Some music just moves you. For example this Taylor Swift song playing on the radio makes me wanna drive off a cliff"
"This morning I saw a lady scraping the ice off her wind shield with her credit card. ..She's not going to make any progress at that rate."
"I always set my watch 10 minutes forward. I wanna be ahead of my time"