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Joke of the Day

"Charlie Brown decided to wear transparent pants one day... ...and when Lucy saw him she said ""I always thought you were a blockhead, Charlie Brown, but now I can plainly see your nuts."""

"Today my 6 yr. old nephew asked my what ""gay"" meant. It wouldn't have bothered me so bad, but it was right after he saw me throw a baseball."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? ""R?"" ""Aye, ye would think so but 'tis the C he loves!"""

"What do you get when you cross a highway with a lawnmower? Killed."

"BRUCE LEE: Be formless, shapeless, like water. HARPER LEE: Things are never as bad as they seem. PARSLEY: I am a stalk vegetable."

"So wrong, it must be right. So right, it must be left. WTF? These directions are terrible."

"Nothing says ""I probably don't have a mode of transportation"" like being the dude hugging another dude on the back of a Harley."

"What is the favorite saying of a police officer in the Simpsons? If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown shoot it down."

"I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer, 30 years for revealing a state secret"