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Joke of the Day

"Charlie Brown decided to wear transparent pants one day... ...and when Lucy saw him she said ""I always thought you were a blockhead, Charlie Brown, but now I can plainly see your nuts."""

Next Joke
 
"Sure, my bologna has a first name, but he's a stickler for manners so he insists we still call him Mr. Bologna."
"I'm into perpendicular lines. I'm a bisectual"
"""You're sure you understand stock trading?"" ME: Yep ""Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"""
"I really hate picketing but I don't know how to show it! RIP Mitch"
"Guy: girl are you a newspaper? Girl: no why? Guy: because there's a new issue with you every fucking day."
"How do you get a nun pregnant? by having sex with her"
"I'm totally fine with everyone leaving the country if Trump wins or if Hillary wins. I need more space"
"Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting."
"HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they're transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise."