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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Rutgers and Rikers? One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail."

"I was pretty surprised when my son came home from university and announced that he's gay. He used to hate anal sex when he was little."

"*breaks out of prison *hunted by police for weeks *crawls thru 22 miles of mud to your house* Me: <taps on your window> DID YOU GET MY TEXT?"

"SOCIAL MEDIA GROUPS For how small springfield is, it has a lot of social media groups... Which one do you like/hate? 217 Problems Springfield exposed Springfaild"

"Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave? He had to go to the Bat Room. [an old classic]"

"Sometimes, I just want to be taken seriously. And sometimes, I just want to be taken, seriously."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasoreass."

"Both Christmas and New Years fell on a weekend this year, which had to suck for the four or five of you that still have jobs."

"Have you ever been so high you had to pull over and ask someone for directions, and when you do it's your fridge and you're not driving?"

"When God closes a door, He usually makes sure my fingers are in it."