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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box of chocolates: Disturbingly expensive, yet... vaguely disappointing."

"What do you call a literary fish? Salmon Rushdie!"

"Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the scale Buzz Lightyear popped up and said ""TO INFINITY... AND BEYOND!"""

"2 muffins sitting in the oven. First one says ""Damn it's hot in here"". Second one says ""Oh shit! A talking muffin""."

"So I heard a bad joke about a prostitute... It was whoreible."

"Jeopardy] Alex: This floats your boat. Me [buzzing in]: What is buoyancy? Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever."

"Sorry for shouting ""go go gadget personality"" while you were speaking. Please, continue."

"The human liver can withstand up to 97% damage and make a full recovery. Yet not one doctor will accept this as an argument for alcoholism."

"The birth of my own children didn't bring me half the joy many of you seem to experience when you point out my misspellings."

"If a tree falls on a woman, does she make a sound? The real question you have to ask yourself, is what was that tree we doing in the kitchen."