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Joke of the Day

"Jeopardy] Alex: This floats your boat. Me [buzzing in]: What is buoyancy? Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever."

"I'd like the chicken-fried steak, please."" Uh lemme get back to you *runs to kitchen* YO WE GOT ANY CHICKENS THAT KNOW HOW TO FRY A STEAK"

"A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment. Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened."

"If I played video games for 8 hours, I'd be called a loser bum But if I watched TV for 8 hours straight, people would just think I didn't have anything to do that day"

"An elephant never forgets My dick remembers everything."

"Why do girls like vampires so much ? They still eat no matter what time of the month."

"[META] Please stop joking about Chris Brown beating Rihanna It's not funny when people keep beating a dead horse."

"The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission."

"First off I want to commend you for taking part in credit counselling. Now, under assets you wrote ""like an onion"". Can you clarify?"

"Don't be ashamed of who you are That's your parents' job"