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Joke of the Day

"2 muffins sitting in the oven. First one says ""Damn it's hot in here"". Second one says ""Oh shit! A talking muffin""."

"What did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Why do men get erections while they sleep? So they don't accidentally roll out of bed."

"I heard Oscar Pistorius had a hard time finding a lawyer for his murder trial... they kept saying he didn't have a leg to stand on."

"I left some acorns in the spot where I killed a squirrel because I'm thoughtful. Also because a gang of squirrels burned a cross in my yard."

"Is the volcano mean or nice? He was mean because he interrupts. (Courtesy of a family member - Benjamin)"

"What's a good source of Vietnamese renewable energy? A Nguyen mill."

"what does the Jewish midwife say to the Non-Jewish woman who just gave birth? It's a Goy !"

"A rabbi and a Catholic priest were talking When the priest asked the rabbi - ""When will you ever eat from my food?"" To which the rabbi immediately responded - ""At your wedding"""

"A three-legged dog sits down at the bar Orders a whiskey. Bartender asks,""What brings you to these parts?"" Dog responds,""Lookin for the sonofabitch who shot my paw.'"