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Joke of the Day

"The birth of my own children didn't bring me half the joy many of you seem to experience when you point out my misspellings."

"Missing girl There was a girl named Tori who got lost when hiking. A search party was formed, however she was never found. Then one day she walks out of the woods, it was a Miss Tori."

"I had a joke about Jonestown, But the punchline was too long."

"What's the inverse of Kansas? Arkansas"

"An opossum is just a regular possum that reenacts the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally."

"Sometimes it's nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it."

"Playing Trivial Pursuit with Grandma: ""Name an animated character dedicated to cleaning up the planet, who loves Eva?"" Nana: ""Hitler."""

"without a doubt my least favourite thing about being alive is having a body, hate taking care of this hunk of shit"

"Bumper stickers are how we tell people we only had $1.50 to spend on a belief system."

"What's the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of babies? You can't unload sand with pitchforks."