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Joke of the Day
"There's furniture items that allow SFW swearing. That's sofa king nice."
Next Joke
"Why do infants wake up crying as if they are the ones who have to go out and work!?"
"If I had to describe myself in one word... ...it would be ""bad at following directions."""
"My Dad used to say ""Always fight fire with fire"" That's probably the reason they threw him out of the fire brigade."
"I like my men like I like my pizza With extra sausage ( )"
"Did you hear who just took on the biggest gentrification project in America? Donald J. Trump."
"Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread."
"She was only a gas-welder's daughter ... ... but she had acetylene tips"
"I need to pick up a random hunky guy in a bar, bring him home, have him invite a friend, and THEN mention that I need furniture rearranged"
"I'd probably be, like, 5% cooler if I wasn't terrified of being on a moving skateboard."