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Joke of the Day

"I like my men like I like my pizza With extra sausage ( )"

"Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5? Because he said Punch's line."

"I'm such a perv that... ... even the crack of dawn isn't safe."

"Homeless guy walking by this bar patio looked at me and said ""I'm your future,"" and I was like ""Sweet, we have a cool beard."""

"The gardener at my work put beer in the garden to catch slugs SO GUESS WHO JUST BECAME A SLUG"

"What's the worst part about 9/11? getting your reddit jokes downvoted 14 years later because everyone is a crybaby cunt"

"Did you hear about the fight between Haydn and Beethoven? You didn't? Neither did Beethoven."

"Tom Cruise's nickname in between the sheets Cruise missile."

"I bought my friend an elephant for her room... She said ""Thanks!"" I told her ""Don't mention it."""

"I did a theatrical performance on puns... It was a play on words. I'll let myself out."