4950

Joke of the Day

"I'd probably be, like, 5% cooler if I wasn't terrified of being on a moving skateboard."

"Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, ""Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?"" Then I wonder if it knows something I don't."

"Friend - You smell nice, what's that perfume you're wearing? Me - Fear and fabric softener."

"If your relationship has more issues than a magazine stand then I suggest you cancel that subscription"

"What's the difference between a Pakistani school and a Pakistani outpost? I don't know, I just fly the drone... *(Please don't hate me)*"

"If someone could find a way to make all pets live as long as humans that person would win all the Nobel prizes until the end of time."

"What is reddit's favourite country M'laysia (sorry, my friends and I are drunk and we think it's funny)"

"A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are through the roof."

"Why do Welsh farmers .... Why do Welsh farmers tend to have sex with sheep on the edge of a cliff? So the sheep will push back"

"An American, a British and a German walks into a busy bar... bartender says,"" GET THE HELL OUT, I GOT NO TIME FOR JOKES'."