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Joke of the Day

"*walks into starbucks* Me: HEY ANY ASPIRING AUTHORS HERE?? SOMEONE FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING OUTSIDE!!! *has choice of any table*"

"I am not a ""Grammar Nazi""... I prefer the term ""Alt-Write""."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Hey, wanna go ride bikes?"

"Did you hear about the women who got wooden breast implants? A punchline would be funny here, Wooden Tit?"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. Feminists don't change anything"

"How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market? Buy high sell higher."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan."

"The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant.. I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence."

"My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise."