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Joke of the Day

"Bruce Willis marks his height on his bedroom wall. He started doing it 2 years ago & it's just an increasingly thick line at the same height"

"How do we know that Dumbledore was a horcrux? Because killing him after the second film wasn't good enough."

"If u stand in the pouring grain.... Your gonna get all wheat!"

"It's hard to have a Polaroid camera and not seem ""kidnappy""."

"A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort; it is equal to one night. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers."

"So Kanye had another kid... He named it Wild Wild"

"How I flirt is how I run. It's funny to watch, I have no form, and I end up sweating like a mother fucker whenever it's over."

"If I have trouble finding an arm hole while putting on a dress shirt, I imagine I'm rehearsing for my show ""Damien Fahey: Shitty Magician""."

"Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ? Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !"

"Warning: 18+ 19"